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I’m chattin’ her up—price, rules, whatever. She’s cool, but I’m pissed—hate the hagglin’. “What am I, a fuckin’ flea market?” I think. Still, she’s got sass—calls me “Mr. Fancy Pants.” Cheeky bitch! Makes me grin tho—happy as a pig in shit. Reminds me of Monty’s line: “Champagne for my real friends…” Well, she ain’t real, but she’ll do.
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Now, let’s get personal—a little confessional. Remember that one time, after a particularly absurd consultation, I ended up venting over coffee in Café Mistakes? Yeah, spilled more coffee than secrets. It was maddening and hilarious all at once. I was muttering lines from that film—“I've seen everything, you know?” because trust me, infidelity, love life, all of it collides right here on every cracked facade.
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