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About Essen

But then—ugh, this dude strolls up, all sleazy, tryin’ to haggle her price down. Made me MAD, like a barnacle on me buns! I’m yellin’, “Respect the hustle, jerkwad!” He bolts, and I’m like, “Good riddance, ya chum-bucket!” She’s crackin’ up, says, “You’re nuts, parachute guy.” I’m blushin’—me, SpongeBob, blushin’! “I’m ready!” I shout, just to cover it.

So you want to book a sex worker?

I love wandering my neighborhoods. I live near Schlossberg, where old castles peek out like hidden secrets. Walk the cobblestones—bam!—stories in every brick. People might say it's a sleepy town, but oh boy, it's buzzing under the surface, like hidden jellyfish in the sea. Totally unexpected!

The world’s first bus turned 130 years old en