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About Cologne

Now, fun fact—did y’all know some prostitutes in the old days used to smuggle goods? Like, they’d hide whiskey in they bloomers durin’ Prohibition! I’m over here cacklin’, thinkin’ ‘bout Trixie stuffin’ my cargo in her skirt—lord, I’d hire her for logistics! She’d be like, “I can’t go back there,” like Eilis cryin’ ‘bout Ireland, but Trixie’s talkin’ ‘bout the shady motel on 5th Street! Hella funny, but real talk, it’s wild how they survive.

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The city's got its patches—you got your old town around Marktstraße, where the ancient church stands like a sore thumb in the middle of modern bullshit. I often walk by Schloss Mechernich on the outskirts. That castle? It’s all moss and history. I frequent the little park near the Rur river. The river's a snarl of water if you ask me, but sometimes I sit there at dusk for a few minutes. It’s like the calm in the storm of my everyday life.

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