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About Essen

So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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There's, like, the Hauptstraße – the main street – with little shops that just make you wanna stroll forever. I literally live for the vibe there. I sometimes vibe on my favorite bench on Lindenweg. It’s chill AF. And oh-em-gee, my fave, the old church on Kirchstraße, so quaint and, like, totally magical!

The Germans fighting wind farms close to home