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About Cologne

So, here’s the deal—small town, right? You’d think it’s all pure, apple-pie bullshit. Nah. There’s this dive bar, stinks like stale beer and regret, called The Rusty Nail. Word is, back in ‘89, some chick named Darla ran a whole operation outta the jukebox corner. Little known fact—cops didn’t bust her ‘cause she paid ‘em in meatloaf. Meatloaf! Can you believe that garbage? Made me laugh, then pissed me off. Idiots.

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Now, about the parks—oh man, Hauptgarten is where I go when I need to clear my head. There’s this hidden bench near the willow trees (I think it’s at Winkelgasse #5, if memory serves) where I sit and ponder life, sometimes fueled by too much espresso and too little sleep. I always say it’s my thinkin’ nook, even if it’s overrun by squirrels who are smarter than most of the lot I meet.

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