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About Cologne

I lean in, sniffin’ – ooh, smells earthy, wild. Kinda pretty, tho, them purple berries danglin’. “The beauty hides the pain,” like in Timbuktu, yeah? Sweet fruit, but spiky as a porcupine’s arse! I grab one, prick me finger – ow! Toss it in me gob, munchin’, mumblin’. Tastes ace, tho – happy vibes there! Surprised me, that sneaky whore, givin’ me a treat after all that agro.

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I gotta mention, though, the riverside walk along Flussweg. It's so chill here, man. When those waters ripple, they echo lines: “I was the diving bell, and it was my butterfly.” Crazy poetic shite, I know. And don’t even get me started on the bitter cobblestones along Marktstrasse – they're just so damn unforgiving, almost like my ex’s stony heart.