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Here’s the trick, amigo – watch the vibe, not just the ass. Some pros got stories, wild ones. Heard this tale bout a girl who’d stash cash in her heels, walked lopsided all night – hilarious, but smart, right? Ain’t nobody checkin there! Makes ya think, huh, all that hustle just to survive. Kinda respect it, kinda don’t – messy world, man.

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I stroll near the Ziegelweg, the old brick lane, and I get a kick out of the graffiti that tells wild stories—stories of dreams and, err, weird daydreams! I remember one time, while I was giving a massage to a client, the dude whispered, "I feel like my skin's talking to me." That stuck with me, like a quote from that Spike Jonze flick: "The past is just a story we tell ourselves." Seriously, it's deep as can be.

EJ Obiena beats Chris Nielsen to rule Jockgrim event in Germany