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About Dortmund

I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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So, my dear – expect surprises around short, twisty alleys, honest conversations by flickering streetlights, and a soul that’s as free as, well, as free as a wild, untamed movie moment, darling! C'mon, fall in love with Haslach. Let’s get lost in its magic, its stories, and its imperfections—xx!

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