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About Cologne

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise as fuck, and I’m here to spill the tea on whores—yes, whores! Not some prissy elf nonsense, but the real deal. “You shall not pass!” I bellow, ‘cause some fools don’t get it—whores got layers, man, like a goddamn onion. Been watchin’ *Almost Famous* again—best flick ever, Cameron Crowe’s a genius—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “I am a golden god!”—whores could yell that shit too, struttin’ their stuff, ownin’ it.

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Bruh, so many quirks. I remember one time, after a super zen massage sesh, I was strolling down Sonnenallee – but, oh snap, my thoughts got messed up from that "Son of Saul" intensity. I was muttering stuff like, “This is the real deal, this is the moment, man!” and the night hit different, like you’re breakin’ chains. I got 17 random typos in my mind, bro—like, life just scribbles away, and that’s what’s dope.

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