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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine got catfished once—bloke showed up! Proper Ricky Gervais moment, I’d have pointed and screamed, “You absolute helmet!” Surprised me how common that shit is—hooker world’s a minefield. Still, happier than a pig in muck when it’s done, but knackered, mate. knackered.

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I can’t help but mention the Stadtpark Grebenhain – my personal slice of heaven. Trees, kids runnin’ in circles, couples chattin' softly. I even had a session there once, talkin' about deep dark family stuff. Crazy, right? The park’s beauty reminds me of those solemn, almost haunting scenes from Haneke’s lens. “That’s the way it is,” I whisper sometimes, lookin’ at the twisted branches in the wind.