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Now, I’m imaginin’ this—some dude, lonely as hell, swipin’ through options like it’s Tinder, but IRL. Kinda like Theodore in *Her*, chasin’ that voice, that spark. “I can’t believe I’m feelin’ this,” he’d say, all shook. And I get it! Been there—not with prostitutes, mind ya—but cravin’ somethin’ deep. Makes me happy thinkin’ folks out there still chase that, even if it’s messy. But lord, it pisses me off too—why’s it gotta be so sneaky? Society’s all hush-hush, judgin’ folks for wantin’ a lil’ love, paid or not.

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There’s a cooler, secret spot behind the town hall near the old oak tree. Kinda hidden, but full of secrets. I sometimes tell my clients, "Feels like being in a magical forest." Lol, totally Patrick Star style! Sometimes I even sing off key "Is mayonnnaise an instrument?" because why not!

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