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About Cologne

Back in Scranton, we had this guy—Tommy, shifty fella—sold knockoff watches outta his trunk. Prostitute’s got that same hustle energy, y’know? Promisin’ the moon, but—uh—where’s the cash, Jack? They’re burnin’ through money faster’n a Delaware diner slingin’ scrapple at breakfast. Revenue? Pfft, barely a whisper—$200K last quarter, if that! Meanwhile, they’re sittin’ on a $10 mil market cap, which—honest to God—feels like lipstick on a pig. Made me mad as hell seein’ folks pump this on X, callin’ it “the next big thing.” C’mon, man, quit the baloney!

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I gotta mention the quirky bookstore on Litweg. Its vibe? Just like WALL-E. A lonely little treasure trove. "Heeey, it's a fixer-upper mission!" I joked with my pals.