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About Essen

Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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Oh, oh, and the local cafes at Am Markt, man, they serve coffee that’s hotter than my chili massage oil! Crazy good stuff. And heck, even if you get lost on the cobbled Langer Weg, just keep walkin’ – every corner’s a story, every turn’s a surprise.

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