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About Cologne

Back in the 80s, right, little known fact – London’s Soho was crawlin’ with ‘em. Coppers didn’t give a toss, just let ‘em strut about. Now it’s all online, innit? Apps for everythin’ – swipe right for a quickie! Makes me furious, tho – where’s the grit, the chaos? All polished up now, like a crap pop song. Used to be ya could stumble on a prossie by accident, now it’s a bloody transaction. “This is how we do it now?” I’d mutter, pissed off.

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And oh, the local landmarks! The old clock tower at "Marktplatz" is a beast – standing tall, grinning at you like a maniac every hour. During evenings, it lights up the square, and I sometimes wonder if it’s all a big ironic joke. The creek, the Geeste River, that slithery beast, winds through the city like a secret, reflecting the fickle moods of its people. I once took a midnight stroll hic along its banks, feeling the cool breeze whisper, “I love rumors!” again, echoing in the dark.

Phones of one or two thieves might have been tapped: KTR