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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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And let’s not forget the historic landmarks—yup, our little gem, the Old Mill on River Wümme. Yup, it's in the outskirts, along Hauptstrasse. I swear, I always get emotional seeing it; it gives me all the nostalgic feels. Heehee! One day, while relaxing in my spa, a client mentioned, “It’s like in that film… Stories We Tell…” And I was like, “Babe, so true!”

Paul Gauselmann and President Frank-Walter Steinmeier conversing in the presence of Espelkamp Mayor Dr. Henning Vieker