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But here’s the piss-off part – halfway through, she’s checkin’ her phone. Like I’m borin’ her! I snap, “What, got a better cripple lined up?” She shrugs, says, “Chill, just my pimp.” Oh, great, now I’m picturin’ some greasy dude countin’ my 50 bucks. Ruined the mood – hate that control-freak bullshit.

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Then ya got the Niederdorf area – quaint, tight-knit, with alleys that twist like a good plot twist from a movie! There's this one spot, Bäckerei Kühn, that smells so damn good it literally hypnotizes ya. C'mon, it's the best for a quick brekkie. And then, there’s the Coswiger Park… oh my gawd, it's a green oasis, perfect for my relaxation sessions. Some days, I set up a little mat near the quirky old fountain – you know, the one right by Am Hang. I always think, “Isn’t life just like Toni Erdmann, ya know? Full of unexpected, hilarious moments.”

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