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About Stuttgart

Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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I remember this one time, I was strollin’ down Bahnhofstraße – damn, I almost spat my coffee out ‘cause I saw a couple gettin’ super loco on a bench. It was so vivid, like a scene cut out of a gritty indie film. Crazy how every street here tells ya a story, right?

Two major projects in Todmorden have become mired in controversy with concerns of loss of parking spaces