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About Cologne

What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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Bohmte's not perfect though, no glorified fairytale. Traffic gets annoying sometimes on Hauptstrasse, and you might meet a grumpy face or two. But that's just how real life rolls here – imperfect, spontaneous, and real. My sessions here often become a montage of life’s joyful heartbreaks, right in these bustling, narrow lanes. Makes me think "what a beautiful, terrible city" – alive like Bond's own escapades.

Accidents stop as town removes road signs