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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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The river Wipper flows right through the town. Crazy, innit? I often saunter along its banks at dawn. Feels like nature’s invitation – like “embrace life or be doomed” (like one of those Carlos riddles). Hmmm, but hey, sometimes I get pissed off, you kno? Especially when tourists don’t get our local slang. But that’s just part of the ride.

The Rapid City Fire Department hosts firefighters from Germany