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Here’s a mad one for ya – heard tell of a prossie in Amsterdam once charged a bloke in tulips! True story, mate, swear on me nan’s grave. Got me thinkin – what’s the weirdest thing I’d pay with? Socks? A kebab? Laughed me arse off picturin that. Anyway, this lass, she’s all business, no chit-chat. “Time is short, act quickly” – movie line again, fit perfect. We duck into this dodgy flat, smells like damp and despair. She’s quick, efficient – bit like an assassin herself, in and out, job done.

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So, picture this: I'm a masseur here – yep, I rub away your stress, and trust me, it shows in every crack of these ancient bricks. I get weird almost magical insights when I massage folks – they spill secrets, like how the river Altes flits by – with gentle splish-splash waves near Linden Park, you know? It’s like... a mini adventure every day.

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