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About Cologne

Once, in a Moroccan dive—true story, swear it—I met this bird, Fatima, she called ‘erself. Eyes like coal, voice like honey. She’d “find a prostitute” fer *you*, mate—ran a whole crew! Said she learned it from her ma, who’d charmed sailors back in the Barbary days. Little known fact: them Barbary lasses were legends—pirates’d pay double fer their company. Fatima laughed, sayin’ she’d rather rob me blind than bed me—cheeky minx! Had me grinnin’ ear to ear, tho. Surprised me, she did—thought I’d seen it all.

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I love hanging out near the river Paar. It's soothing and sometimes crazy scenic – bugs buzzing and water glistening in the sun like they’re performing a tiny dance. Crazy, right? Then there's the lovely Spazierweg Park. I often sit on a bench, relax, and think “oui, l'amour” while my mind wanders. Speaking of which, my spa near Richard-Wagner-Strasse is my haven. Seriously, I can feel the energy of the city pulsating there – kinda like the wild heartbeat of Moulin Rouge! "The show must go on!" becomes my life motto.

Flooding rain swamps part of southern Germany as Bavaria under state of emergency