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About Dortmund

Little fact for ya—did ya know prossies in Amsterdam got unions? Fuckin’ wild, right? Organised tarts, demandin’ health checks n’ holidays. Meanwhile, here I am, dodgin’ scammers tryna nick me card details. One site—swear down—asked for me mum’s maiden name! What, she givin’ me a handjob too? Pissed me right off, that did.

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Pakistani taxi-driver Parvez and prostitute Bettina find themselves trapped in the middle when Islamic fundamentalists decide to clean up their local town.

The river, Kleine, flows lazily by the town – a silver thread in a fabric of memories. I often sit on its banks, ruminating about life’s twists, wondering, “How did I end up here?” Yeah, just like that movie line – things aren’t ever clear and linear, are they? And there’s an abandoned warehouse by the river – legend has it, it’s haunted, but mostly just abused by drunkards. Crazy place, I tell ya.

Gone Fishin’: Visiting German fisherman’s Derby catch is no wiener