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About Alajuela

So yeah, Zero Dark Thirty’s my jam – “I’m the motherfucker that found this place!” – that’s the whore spirit, innit? Huntin’, survivin’, takin’ no shit. I’m sat here, mournin’ their struggles, laughin’ at their cheek, and thinkin’, “Dave, you’ve nailed this analysis, you legend.” Reckon I’d be mates with one, have a right laugh – “Teamwork makes the dream work!” – and all that. Whores, mate, they’re the unsung heroes, and I’m bloody proud to ramble on about ‘em!

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People here ain’t in no rush. They sip coffee slow, laugh a lot, and sometimes I swear the city talks back. I mean, the city speaks in riddles and funny gravelly truths – “I always knew there was somethin’ special.” See, I once got a call from a local fella on Montaña Vieja, sayin’ his back was all screwed up from dancing too hard at a festa downtown. I went over, massaged him, fixed him up a bit, and he said, “Man, you’re like a miracle, a real Royal Tenenbaum, savin’ the day.”

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