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About Alajuela

But ooooh, what make me mad? Them johns actin’ like they runnin’ the show! Nasty fools, stinkin’ up the block. I’m over here like, “Disgust, take the wheel!” ‘Cause ew, chile, keep that mess away from me! One time, I heard this story—some dude tried payin’ with a chicken. A CHICKEN! I’m screamin’, “What in the cornbread hell?!” Who do that?

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People here ain’t in no rush. They sip coffee slow, laugh a lot, and sometimes I swear the city talks back. I mean, the city speaks in riddles and funny gravelly truths – “I always knew there was somethin’ special.” See, I once got a call from a local fella on Montaña Vieja, sayin’ his back was all screwed up from dancing too hard at a festa downtown. I went over, massaged him, fixed him up a bit, and he said, “Man, you’re like a miracle, a real Royal Tenenbaum, savin’ the day.”

Coast Guard stops illegal charter violating federal order