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So, I swagger up, all charm, “What’s yer price, love?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “More’n you got, trickster.” Cheeky! I’m half mad, half lovin’ it—nobody talks to *me* like that. Didja know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy, eh? Makes it sound poetic, not dodgy. Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “This is my glorious purpose tonight!”—bit dramatic, sure, but I’m Loki, I live for it.

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Man, I can’t forget the hidden gem: a tiny café off the beaten track, near Calle Real. Its name? Uh, something quirky, but it’s a secular hangout with outrageously good coffee and neato vibes. I always get a kick whenever I stumble on that spot – sooo random! Even the locals have their own slang for callin’ it: "El Café loco" – cuz, as I say, life here is unpredictably wild!

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