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I walk in, ladies everywhere, smiling, winking. One girl, she look like my sister – I scream, “Nooo, not you!” Made me angry, heart go boom, like bomb in movie. “This is the end!” I yell, but no, she just laugh. I calm down, order drink – cheap vodka, taste like tractor oil. Brothel got dark corners, sticky floor, ugh, I trip, fall on big guy. He mad, I say, “Sorry, my king!” like in film. He punch me, I laugh – pain is funny!

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The neighborhoods are lit, too. Check out Barrio El Sol; it's got these quirky cafes and murals that make you wanna snap pics non-stop. And then there's Villa Alegre, a chill area with some obscure art spots that only locals know ‘bout. I've even discovered some secret nooks behind Casa Bonita – oh man, the vibes are unreal!

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