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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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I loves strolls in the neighborhoods, oh yes, like the quirky Barrio de las Flores, where color bursts like a bright flame in the dark, precious! And then there’s El Bosque, oh, our escape! We sits on benches, whispering secrets. It reminds me of my sessions, the souls, the family ties, all a mingling of love and pain.

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