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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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The neighborhood of Calm Corners is where I choose to hang my hat sometimes – odd, right? There are quirky cafés, tiny vintage shops, and, oh! the local library on Peaceful Lane. The locals love it – I do too, it's so non-pretentious. You sometimes see old timers with stories thicker than a phone directory – incredible!

Gunmen kill UN contractor, 4 others near Nigeria-Cameroon border