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About Yaounde

So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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Oh, and check out the local landmark: the old lighthouse on the hill near the Quimper River. It’s been shining for decades, while I’m trying to shine some truth in a world of pretenders. I’d say its beam cuts through the BS just like my sarcasm. Every time I pass by, I think: "I’m your new friend, always." But then I roll my eyes.

Fig. 2. DEM map of Cameroon and the Batouri gold district indicating...