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About Ngaoundere

Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, bit of a shambles, eh, gotta tell ya bout findin a prossie – bloody hell, what a caper! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as them Romans said, cos this ain’t no picnic in Westminster. Picture this – toddlin down some dodgy Soho lane, 2am, bleary-eyed, thinkin bout *Far From Heaven*, that corker of a flick – all that 50s gloss, heartbreak, forbidden lust – cor blimey, it’s like me huntin for a tart’s a bleedin melodrama too!

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It is now possible to use an app to find an escort. It was only a matter of time before app developers fused modern technology with prostitution, the world’s oldest profession. Though .

You come to Jakiri (cm), you meet all the characters. The local coffee joint at Java Junction – where some hack coder pours his heart out with every shot of espresso. I once got into a shouting match with a pompous fella who argued online dating is just a facade. I told him, "You're a bloody idiot sandwich!" and walked away laughing.

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