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About Bern

So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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Yea, there’s this cute riverside by the small stream, La Riviere Belle – not many know its endearing charm. I often take meditative strolls, thinking about life, the universe, and, err... Cupcakes sometimes, haha. Thonex, it’s got a voice, a personality. Even its bumps on Rue des Lilas have stories! Speaking of bumps, I’ve seen a couple of stray dogs who madly wander – they’re lovin’ life, like, totally grit.

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