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About Lugano

So, I tried it once – this chick, total minx, knew moves that’d make yer head spin faster than a vinyl on 45. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they called it “massage with benefits” – senators got it on the down-low, sneaky buggers! Made me happy as a hippie at Woodstock – muscles loose, soul groovin’. But once, mate, this geezer botched it – rough hands, no rhythm, like a tone-deaf drummer! Pissed me off, I was ragin’ – “Oi, mate, this ain’t a wrestling hold!”