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About Bern

I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!

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I’m a masseur, my life’s about touch. I feel every pulse in this town. Walk down to the secret alley behind Blumenweg – quiet, mysterious, like hidden massage spots. Only locals know. I spill a joke there, sometimes giggling hysterically, "I'll be back," just to keep spirits high.

Train crash in Switzerland injures at least 50