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About Lucerne

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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Baar's got parks, parks everywhere. Miin Park is like a gem: trees, laughter, street performers—every day’s a surprise. I love my walks by the little creek near Gemeindehaus. It’s chill, calming, too. And hey, did you know there’s a hidden café by Rheinsprung? Yeah, that one! I used to sit there, thinkin' “Time is running out—like in 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days!” Strange, right?

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