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About Bern

Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.

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then, there’s the hidden gem: Lilastraße. yeah, it’s a tiny alley, almost unnoticeable, but it’s loaded with secretive dating spots. as a dating site dev, i see all the connections forming here; it’s like a real-life algorithm at work! every corner of this alley holds tiny surprises – like random jazz gigs and street theatre – and lemme tell ya, the misfits here have more heart than any fancy tech billionaires.

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