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About Lucerne

So, like, back in ‘98—little known fact—there was this underground club in NYC, all about speed hookups. No names, just vibes—boom, bang, done! Sounds thrilling, right? Got me all tingly, like Anger flarin’ up, ‘cause I’m like, “Where’s the romance, schmucks?!” But then—ooh—I tried it once, swear it! Met this guy, total hunk, thought I’d hit the jackpot. Five minutes in? Snooze-fest! *cackle* Like Fear in my head screamin’, “Abort, abort!”

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Start with Hauptstrasse – it's the lifeblood of town. Walkin’ down Hauptstrasse, ya see tiny cafés, a bistro or two. It’s, like, the perfect spot for people watchers (and trust me: families, couples, and even oddballs all come here). I sometimes sit at Café Rêve, a quirky joint with mismatched chairs, and watch the locals hunt for lost souls. "I was once in a fervent meeting with a mum and her teens" – classic stuff! I’d say, "Pretty, pretty good."

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