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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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Start with Hauptstrasse – it's the lifeblood of town. Walkin’ down Hauptstrasse, ya see tiny cafés, a bistro or two. It’s, like, the perfect spot for people watchers (and trust me: families, couples, and even oddballs all come here). I sometimes sit at Café Rêve, a quirky joint with mismatched chairs, and watch the locals hunt for lost souls. "I was once in a fervent meeting with a mum and her teens" – classic stuff! I’d say, "Pretty, pretty good."

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