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About Bern

“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.

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Strollin’ down Hauptstrass is like takin’ a walk through time. You got your little boutiques, quaint cafés, and that one bakery on Bergstrass, where the cuppa coffee hits ya just right. I always luvly check out alleys and side streets, pickin’ up local gossip while kneadin’ tense muscles, ya feel me? Eh, it’s like they say in Leviathan, “Everything is connected to everything, ya know?” and yeah, Gabagool? Ova here!

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