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Preciousss, listen up! Me, Gollum, tellin’ ya ‘bout whores – nasty, tricksy things! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – they’d say, thinkin’ they’re clever, struttin’ round like they own Timbuktu. Watched that flick, “Timbuktu 2014,” fuckin’ masterpiece, mate! Whores there? Not on screen, but ya feel ‘em – sneaky shadows in the sand, tradin’ flesh for coins. “We’ve no cattle left,” says that dude in the movie, all brokedown n’ shit – whores prolly took it all, haha!

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You see, as a spa owner, I know all the secret spots. There’s a chill park called Stadtpark, right near the old mill. Sometimes I sit there, thinkin’ “Leviathan, man – I forgive you,” as the movie says. Doesn’t it hit ya deep? I get all emotional, bro!

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