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About Lugano

Alright, so I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—find a prostitute, huh? Pretty, pretty good idea, maybe, but oh boy, here we go. I mean, where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d flip through some shady phonebook—yeah, those existed! Now it’s all apps, websites, total mess. I’m no Carlos, y’know, slinkin’ through Europe, dodgin’ cops, pickin’ up ladies like it’s nothin’. Me? I’d trip over my own feet tryin’ to look cool. “I’m an international man!”—nah, I’m Larry, sweatin’ through my shirt.

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Man, sometimes I get so mad. Like, when a tourist steps on a flowerbed, I’m like, “HEY! Respect my authoritah!” Seriously, my spa’s all about peace and healing, not trampled daisies. And then there’s the river again – its constant murmur reminds me of that eerie line from The Turin Horse – “A void where meaning dissolves…” or some crap like that!

Rep. Altendorf Legislative Update