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About Bern

Eh, what’s up, doc? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like some real shady stuff. Bein’ an actuary, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet, pal! I’m picturin’ it like somethin’ outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – ya know, my fave flick. Like, what if Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and weird, went lookin’ for a hooker instead’a mopin’ over Margot? “I’m going to lose my mind,” he’d say, but with a dame on his arm, heh!

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I’m not even joking – even my spa reflects this raw, messed-up beauty of Altendorf. Every session, I feel the history, the chaos, and all that deep, existential angst. And yeah, I even get 2 typos when I write down orders ‘cause I’m so zoned in, ya know?

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