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About Myself
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About Calgary
Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!
Anyway, ya gotta come see it yourself. It’s messy, unexpected, sometimes maddening...but oh so wonderfully human. And trust me, after a massage session in this town, you'll see why every corner holds a secret waiting for you. Pretty, pretty good, right?
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