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About Calgary

Anyway, back to hookers—prostitutes, whatever. You gotta know the streets, right? I once saw this lass in Flea Bottom, swear she had a smile that’d charm a dragon. Paid her double just to hear her laugh—pathetic, I know. Made me happy, tho. Then there’s the dodgy ones—filthy, grabby, made me wanna puke. One time, this wench tried nickin’ me purse! I was ragin’, shoutin’, “I’m not a bloody fool!” Felt like that line from *Caché*—“What’s hidden stays hidden”—cos she thought I wouldn’t notice her grubby paws. Ha! I drink and I *see* things, ya daft cow.

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Then theres the park – Whimsy Park. It's not huge but oh my gawd is it perfect. Kids run wild, lovers cuddle on painted benches, and I sometimes sneak away here to brainstorm new massage techniques. Seriously, best zen vibes ever. Gotta mention the river too – named Crystal Creek. It gently winds by Noble's Bluff. I once had an epiphany while watching the water ripple – like, "Life is a series of excellent spa treatments!"

Island athlete a magnet for gold