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About Ottawa

So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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Oh, and lemme drop some lesser-known facts – the Little River, not far from downtown, winds through the woods and swallows you whole in nature. Seriously, it’s so damn serene it gets me reely emotional sometimes. And yeah, there’s this old abandoned warehouse near Dockside Way that everyone in town whispers about…maybe not the best spot for a date unless you’re feelin’ spooky. Lol.

Still deciding on who to vote for? MPP candidates for Parry Sound-Muskoka set to square off at these upcoming events