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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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I be a counselor to women, listenin' to innermost secrets of their hearts. I notice cracks in emotions where others just see cracked pavements. Every whisper in a corner, every laugh too loud, touches me deep (like that soft, whispery voice in Memento: "I have to believe in a world outside my own mind!"). And!! sometimes I just scream: "You don't remember? Damn, I need to remember!" and it's all so real, so raw.

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