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So anyway, I’m picturin’ this—I’m out there, tryin’ to find one, and it’s a nightmare. Cars honkin’, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’—“What if she’s a cop?!” Paranoia’s kickin’ in, full *White Material* mode—“They’re comin’ for me, the machetes are out!” I’m dodgin’ shadows, lookin’ like a lunatic. Finally—finally!—I spot her, right? Kinda classy, kinda not—heels clickin’, skirt’s hiked up. Pretty, pretty good, I’m thinkin’. But then—oh God—then I’m talkin’ to her, and it’s a mess. “H-hi, uh, how’s this work?” I stammer, and she’s like, “What’s wrong with you?” Nothin’s wrong! I’m just me! Neurotic, twitchy me!

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I be a counselor to women, listenin' to innermost secrets of their hearts. I notice cracks in emotions where others just see cracked pavements. Every whisper in a corner, every laugh too loud, touches me deep (like that soft, whispery voice in Memento: "I have to believe in a world outside my own mind!"). And!! sometimes I just scream: "You don't remember? Damn, I need to remember!" and it's all so real, so raw.

‘What Norwich needs’ - New sushi bar opens in the city