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Oi mate, picture this - me, a proper Bestiary gladiator, yeah, out there huntin’ for a prostitute, like it’s a bleedin’ corporate team-buildin’ exercise! Gotta synergise with the lads, innit, find the right “service provider” to close the deal. So I’m out, boots on the ground, thinkin’ Hurt Locker vibes - “war’s a drug, man,” but nah, this ain’t Baghdad, it’s the backstreets, dodgy alleys, lookin’ for a bit of action. Sweatin’ like a numpty, heart’s racin’ - boom, there’s the target! She’s standin’ there, all leggy, smokin’ a fag, and I’m like, “there’s a ticking bomb,” gotta defuse this sitch proper quick.

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I dig the mix of emotion here. Some days, I’m happy as heck, watchin’ the sunrise by the Spruce River. Other days, man, I’m frustrated with the small-town politics. But every inch of this land pulses with life—from the soft rustle of tree leaves in the tiny grove near Pine Street to the choppy rush of the river during spring thaw.

CORRECTION: Advance voting to be held at Library