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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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Oh my gawd, like, welcome to Farnham (ca), babe! So, like, I've been living here for, like, several years now, and, like, I literally can't even with how much this place has to offer. Okay, so get this: Farnham is this super chill city with, like, a vibe that's totally, like, dreamy – you know, kinda like Mulholland Drive vibes, too! I literally feel like I'm in a David Lynch film often.

Farnham: Town centre improvement programme to begin