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About Edmonton

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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I loyalally spend Sunday rides along Glenmore Trail, that road twists like a wild rollercoaster. The city inspires me, fills up every crack in my mind with hilarious therapy sessions and juicy anecdotes from families who spill their hearts on every park bench.

Calgary's arts community feeling the blow after Alberta Theatre Projects reports bank fraud