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Brothel got rules, tho – no touch unless pay. I try hug lady, she slap me, say, “Cash first, cowboy!” I respect that, strong woman, like Kee with bebe. I pay, she dance, I think – this better than goat wrestling! Very nice! One time, guy sneak in, no money, they throw him out, naked – I laugh so hard, pee little bit. True story, happen last year!

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Now, I know ya comin’ soon, so listen up: Karelichy (by) is tiny but wild. Down by Riverbend Park, next to the sleepy ol’ river, the vibe changes faster than a country singer’s mood at a honky-tonk. I spend most days massagein’ folks while thinkin’, “Ah shoot, life’s like that – a gamble, savin’ our souls like in that movie, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.” Heck yes, that movie’s a stinker sometimes, but them lines, oh darlin’, they hit like a sucker punch of truth!